When People Go Hot or Cold
The shaikh, Dr. Muḥammad ibn Ghālib Al-ʿUmarī, may Allāh protect him, said:
[If] someone reaches out to you with one hand, [so to speak], reach out to him with two, and beware of treating people coldly when there’s no call for that.
And [if] someone can’t stand you for no reason, don’t busy yourself trying to reconnect with him–he’s either got some excuse, so excuse him; or his feelings about [the] friendship have changed, [in which case], hold on to the good memories of him. Don’t burden him with a friendship he doesn’t want.
It’s been ascribed to Al-Shāfiʿī:
إِذا لَم يَكُن صَفوُ الوِدادِ طَبيعَةً … فَلا خَيرَ في وِدٍّ يَجيءُ تَكَلُّفا
If the sincerity of the love isn’t there without trying
There’s no good in a love that comes from effort, like lying
Source: @m_g_alomari. 12 Mar 21.
من مدّ لك يد تواصل، فمدّ له اليدين، وإياك والجفاء بغير مقتض لذلك.
ومن قلاك بغير سبب، فلا تنشغل بمواصلته.
فإما معذور فالتمس له عذرا.
أو قد تغيّر ودّه، فأبقي له حسن الذكرى. ولا تكلفه ودّا لا يريده.
ينسب للشافعي:
إذا لم يكن صفو الوداد طبيعة
فلا خير في ودّ يجيء تكلفا— د.محمد بن غالب العُمري (@m_g_alomari) March 12, 2021